I actually blame Lauren (I know, act surprised. I blame Lauren for everything). For some reason Lauren is tortured by zealots ranting about the rapture that’s coming. For anyone unfamiliar with what the Rapture is:
In Christian eschatology, the Rapture is the name given to the future event in which it is believed that Jesus Christ will descend from Heaven, accompanied by the spirits of all the saints of God, both from the pre-incarnation period and after, who have passed on prior to the rapture, and then the bodies of the saints are joined with their spirits in a resurrection – the First Resurrection – to meet the Lord. Immediately after this, all true Christians alive on the earth are simultaneously transported to meet the Lord and those who have preceded them in the air as well, all, having been transformed into immortal bodies like Jesus’ body, often referred to as the “resurrection body“.
Thank you Wikipedia.
ANYWAY. Maybe it’s because friend-bot works in Boston and has more exposure to Rapture wielding lunatics. Maybe it’s because she’s a good Christian (LAUGHING LOUDLY) and the Christian militia can smell another good li’l soldier of Christ. Maybe it’s just because I’m fucking scary looking. I don’t know what it is, but NO ONE HAS EVER TRIED TO SAVE ME WITH THE RAPTURE. I’m starting to take it personally. So, as an Ode to this greatest of Christian salvation events, I named my blog after it, hoping beyond hope that I too can become a champion of the Lord and go to heaven when all the other good Christians do.
Please, Jeebus? Please?
Here’s to hoping.