Okay, so I get it.

Going green is a good thing. It helps the environment, it makes us better people to subscribe to it. I put on my tinfoil hat and recycle too. I tend to buy recycled products.

This, though, gives me the giggles.

The concept is simple enough: someone manufactured dog toys that are green. They’re made with all natural materials, dyes, stuffing, etc. Okay, cool I have no issue with that. What I think is hysterical though is the dog owner they interview in the middle of the article who talks about why he chooses organic toys over not. He keeps saying he wants “organic and wholesome”, and that this dog sleeps with them so he only wants the dog to have the best. It’s the emphasis on “wholesome” here that kills me. I’m a dog owner. I love my dogs. Fact: my dogs lick their own asses and parts. They eat poop if they’re not watched. They’d roll in something dead if I gave them three seconds alone. Organic? FUCK YES. ALL OF THAT’S ORGANIC. But this guy’s near poetic wish for his dog to be this wholesome organic being of purity and light?

. . . he’s gonna be real surprised the first time Fido is in the backyard chewing on a dead squirrel.

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