Okay, let’s start here with a music video preview:

Readers, meet my latest OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS flick.  And you’ve probably never heard of it.  Suck is a vampire movie.  “But there’s tons of vampire movies out there” you say, and I would agree, but are there tons of vampire movies that you’d actually call good?  Probably not.  Maybe I’m a vampire snob; I’ve read a lot, seen a lot, and I’m sorta sick of the portrayal of vampires as emo Louis-From-Interview knock offs.  Twilight hits my gag reflex, and the last time a horror movie vamp actually scared me was 30 Days of Night from 2007.  I loved that movie because it spun the status quo into something different:  vampires were disgusting vermin, not pretty prancing playboys.  I like Suck for a similar reason in that they took the status quo and shook it up.  How you ask?  They made a rock/comedy/horror hybrid that works on so many levels.

The story is fairly simple:  there’s a struggling rock band on tour, and most of the band mates aren’t seeing eye to eye because the female bassist and male lead singer recently broke up.  Everyone’s broke, miserable, and stuck in a car together.  Long trips between gigs and constant in-fighting is not a path to greatness.  That is until Jennifer the bassist is turned into a vampire.  All of a sudden their audience appeal skyrockets, they’re pulling in fans left and right.  This shouldn’t be a bad thing, but the lead singer (Joey) is not used to playing second fiddle to anyone, and Jennifer is the new hot thing for their band.  As she isn’t really forthcoming about her new “condition” there are problems, some obvious (like what to do with the people she eats?  Oh right, make their roadie Hugo clean up after her), and some not so obvious, like Joey’s jealousy.  And did I mention she’s being followed by a vampire hunter who wants to use her to find her maker?   (Played by the wonderful Malcolm McDowell).

A bevy of situations arise from there, all based around the band, the music, the vampires, and the lingering sexual tension between Joey and Jennifer.  The movie is wrought with guest appearances (Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper, Henry Rollins and Moby just to name a few), and the soundtrack is unbelievable.  One of the biggest comedic highlights is the aforementioned Hugo, who’s a nerdier, bastardized version of Dracula’s Renfield.  The scriptwriter/director (incidentally the same guy that plays Joey) includes more than a few tips of the hat like that, and for vampy fans like me, it’s hugely appreciated.

I honestly didn’t expect to like this movie when it was put in front of me, but hearing a few friends absolutely rave about it (husband included), I gave it a try, and I’m so glad that I did.  The true litmus test of any vampire anything, though, is showing it to falconesse.  The girl did her /thesis/ on the vampire, and is better read on the genre than I am.  When she was smiling and laughing through the whole thing, I knew we had a winner.  So yes, go now. If you’re a horror fan, a music fan, a comedy fan, or just a movie buff in general?  Go find this movie.  Sit down with a tub of popcorn and a beer, and watch something totally refreshing and different.  I promise you won’t be disappointed.

3 thoughts on “Suck!”

  1. Great! I’ve been looking for another vampire movie to enjoy.

    I just finished watching the Korean film “Thirst”. I highly recommend it. While it is agonizingly slow at some points, the storyline is fascinating and the humor is subtle and twisted. The cliff-by-the-sea scene had me rolling. **ITTY BITTY SPOILER*** One of my favorite lines was, to explain drinking blood from a coma patient, “He wouldn’t mind. He was very generous towards the hungry. If only you had heard the sponge cake story!”

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