This post brought to you by conversation with Best Friend Thing:
Hillary: so he has two parts?
. . . two hearts?
THAT’S A PHIL COLLINS SONG
Lauren: Not exactly. Just a few extra pieces in his.
OR HE’S A TIME LORD
Lauren: Oh, I don’t even need to click that.
Hillary: . . .
BUT YOU DO
Lauren: NO IT’S ALREADY IN MY HEAD NOW THANKS
I LOVE YOU PHIL COLLINS
THERE WAS NO REASON TO BELIEVE SHE’D ALWAYS BE THEEERE
BUT DON’T PUT FAITH IN WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN
IT’S GETTING YOU NOWHERE
LIVING IN JUST OOOONE MIIIND
YOU KNOW IT TWO HEARTS
LIVING IN JUUUST OOOONE MIND!
Is this Phil Collins torture?
I’m not even sure they do this at Guantanamo.
Lauren: Phil Collins is kind of like candy corn.
Hillary: I . . I like phil collins
Lauren: So do I, but in small doses.
So I have this weird thing about Phil Collins. I don’t recall my mother ever being that much of a fan. In fact, I think she dislikes Genesis (though she may pop up to clarify that. Saying my mother’s name invokes her like she’s a superiorly-dressed Candy Man or something. That or she loves me and likes reading my blog.) Anyway, I like Phil Collins. I know my Uncle Michael used to like Phil Collins because he’d play their CDs when I was over his house as a kid. To cement my tinfoil-hat-wearing-Phil-Collins-thing, I’d watch VH1 until my eyes bled as a sprout, and for some reason VH1 LOOOOVED Phil. They played the -shit- out of Phil. I think the first song I ever fell in love with was Against All Odds:
SHE’S AN EASY LOVER!
SHE’LL GET A HOLD ON YOU BELIEVE IT!
LIKE NO OTHER, BEFORE YOU KNOW IT YOU’LL BE ON YOUR KNEES!
Towards the late 80’s and early 90’s, Phil came out with a bunch of public awareness songs, including Another Day In Paradise. Which is the most depressing song -ever-. But hey, at least a famous dude was using his influence for a good cause, right! Unfortunately, suicide rates in the US skyrocketed during the radio-play of this song because it made everyone so sad, they flung themselves off of any nearby, high surfaces (*unconfirmed fact). That album also had Something Happened On the Way to Heaven (video famous for starring a dog) and (my favorite from that album) I Wish It Would Rain Down.
So by my count, that was over ten years of me loving on the Phil – early 80’s to early 90’s. Now, Phil’s reduced to greatest hits compilations and light rock stations, and I’ve heard he’s retired from music for the most part. I never really skip over him if I stumble across one of his songs on the radio, though. The exception being that fucking Tarzan song because no, Disney, that song makes me do the sad-time face. The thing is, I’m pretty sure there’s a shame factor involved in liking Phil Collins. It’s sort of like . . . less cool than liking JOURNEY. And let me tell you? You can have a lot of self-loathing if you like Journey, especially after you’ve seen Eric’s Journey Dance (which looks a lot like he’s milking a cow – it’s fucked.) Steve Perry is the anti-cool. Phil Collins is also the anti-cool, yet here I am flying my dork flag and confessing to my numero uno guilty pleasure.
So I gotta ask, which artist do you REALLY LOVE that you hate admitting to because you’re afraid your friends will give you wedgies and steal your lunch money? I want all your dirty musical secrets. BRING IT, PEOPLE.