Someone on my Twitter feed started off the day with a message that said, “I’m having A MORNING. It’s like it was written by Lemony Snicket.” Of course, this got my brain juices gushing. What if our days WERE written by the madmen and women of publishing? What if we were the brain babies on someone else’s page?
QUESTIONS FOR YOU GUYS.
If you were a character in a book, who would you want to write your day? Why?
If you were a character in a book, who is the last person you would want to write your day? Why?
For me, if I had to pick someone to script my day, I’m going to go with Christopher Moore. Why? Well, I’d very likely meet a cast of incredibly funny people, one of which would be so tongue-in-cheek, sarcasm would ooze from their pores in drippy rivers. Said sarcastic individual would undoubtedly shred me awhile, maybe make me want to punch them in the face, but in the end they’d turn out to be the best, most reliable friend I could have when the going gets tough. There’d probably be a talking sidekick of some sorts, maybe a fruitbat or an entertaining demon, but after I got past the weirdness of it, I’d find that pretty cool. I’d be so down with a vampire cat.
The LAST person I’d want to script my day? Shit, this is a toss-up between GRRM and Abercrombie. Let’s go with GRRM. Not only would everyone I encounter in my day be out to fuck me over, half of them would be willing and able to kill me. They’d have some huge secret agenda to oust me from any power I could claim, and — when I wasn’t looking — there would probably be a better than fifty percent chance that they were humping their sister. All of my friends would probably hate each other, and every other hour someone would throw a dead wolf head at me because that’s just how GRRM rolls. Let’s not even talk about how crappy his parties are. You go in, expect to have a beer and a cocktail weenie, and the next thing you know, everyone dies. No, seriously, like everyone. OH, COME ON, SIR.
So! PLAY ALONG. Who would script YOUR day? Who wouldn’t? GO!