Hi. I Screwed Up. Nice to Meet You!

In Mary 1, I kill a character.  In doing so, I contribute to one of the (don’t click next link if you don’t want a spoiler) Problematic Horror Tropes that, in other work, drives me absolutely mental.  I was aware of it at the time, was kicking myself for being That Person, but I’d written myself into a corner.  You see (dundundun) the character I kill?  Was my favorite.  By, like, a lot.  Because she was in a lot of ways me and when I’d determined that I was going to nuke someone, I had four characters to choose from and only one of them was likable enough (without being utterly necessary to the continuation of the story into book two) to actually make anyone care.

So I picked the one that hurt.  Me and the reader.  And in doing so, Screwed Up Something Else.

I still feel badly about it.  I wish I’d engineered the book better.  We learn, and I have learned, but I wanted to offer an explanation for what I consider poor behavor.  I try to be socially aware.  I try to not be a privileged white dong when I can be.  In this instance, I failed and I recognize it.  I do better in book two.  I’ll do better in books going forward.

(And just so we’re clear, I’m not looking to be exonerated. I messed up and this is me owning that mess-up.  To anyone I offended, you have my sincere apology.)

-H

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